It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Randomize
