my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
she told me i tasted like america
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
