Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
