I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
