he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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