She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Randomize
