True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
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