Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize