Screwed.edu
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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