You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Pappa wants mamma naked
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Randomize
