please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
