Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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