he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Randomize
