whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
