Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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