My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I just had sex on a roof
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
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