College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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