escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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