Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
People in love make me want to vomit
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
