So drunk, too bad you don't want this
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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