i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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