WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
