Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
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