I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
