we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
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