My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Randomize
