i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
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