Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
