She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
