I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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