It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
