She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
