No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
