my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
