he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
