McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
