Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
