Say something about gay babies.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
