Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(773): View more from Illinois

When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"

(312): View more from Illinois

Prob not but she was surprised

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(973): View more from New Jersey

Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back

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(540): View more from Virginia

hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.

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(630): View more from Illinois

Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.

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(831): View more from California

please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom

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(604): View more from British Columbia

Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.

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(410): View more from Maryland

You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi

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(206): View more from Washington

Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.

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