I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
