Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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