Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
What a fucking waste of an outfit
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
