Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
