separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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