that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
my shit smells like andre
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
