Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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