Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
