the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
