Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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