I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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