I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
someone owes me an orgasm
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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