covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
