I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
