If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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