We tried having a conversation with our noses.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
