I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
