I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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