He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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