i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
My pussy is not your playground.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Randomize
