A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize