So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize
