Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
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