that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Randomize
