'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize